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Showing posts with label English Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English Jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, 6 July 2019

My Documents, Husband wife joke


My Documents

Husband: You are upset from the last few days. What Happened?



Wife: There is a folder on your laptop with the name “My Documents” You could have named it “Our Documents” You don’t care for me anymore, I hate you!


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Friday, 20 October 2017

Wish you a very very Happy Diwali



May the Festival of Lights bring lots of joy, peace and prosperity to you and your family. Have a great Diwali.



Saturday, 17 December 2016

How to convert all your black money into white

How to convert all your black money into white

How to convert all your black money into white following the #DeMonetization

-> Step 1 - 
 Create a political party, and get registered under Repre sentation of People's Act, 1951. [Not a difficult task. 
There are more than 1000 registered parties who didn't even contest 2014 Lok Sabha Election, and EC cannot de-register a party]

-> Step 2 -
 Donate all your black money to your party in parts, each part should be less than 20,000. You can make infinite such donations, and say that they came from people.
[According to the RP Act 1951, the political parties are not required to report (to the Election Commission of India (ECI)) the name of the individuals or organizations from whom they have received donations of amount less than Rs.20,000.]

-> Step 3 - 
Go to bank, deposit all this amount in the party's account.
[No need to pay any income tax. Political parties are 100% exempted from income tax]
As per Section 13A of income tax 1961.


-> Step 4 - Withdraw the amount as and when you need, in 50/100/2000 rupee notes - It is all white.
[Since Political Parties are not under RTI, you can't ask them how they spent their money.
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Saturday, 24 September 2016

If the social media before 1947

IF THE SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE 1947

ये तो अच्छा हुआ कि 1947 में Social Media नहीं था....,

 वरना आजादी के लिए कोई जंग में उतरता ही नहीं..,

 लोग घर बैठे ही कहते कि......

इस Massage को इतना फैलाओ कि अंग्रेज खुद भारत छोड़कर भाग जाए।😅😂😁😀🤓😕😮😛


یہ تو اچھا ہوا کہ 1947 سے پہلے عوامی ذرائع ابلاغ نہیں تھا ۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
ورنہ آزادی کے لئے کوئی جنگ میں اترتا ہی نہیں۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
لوگ گھر بیٹھے ہی کہتے کی
اس Massageکو اتنا پھیلاو اور شیئر کرو کہ انگریز خود بھارت چھوڑ کر بھاگ جائیں۔


Wednesday, 24 August 2016

IN A BANK AT HYDERABAD

 IN A BANK AT HYDERABAD

Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte.

Banker : 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata

Customer : Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku

Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar Ku Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte

Customer : Aise khatarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main..😱😨




حیدرآبادی بینک میں
حیدرآبادی گاہک : میرے کُوں چیک ڈیپوزیٹ کرنا ہے کب تک کلیر کرتے

بینکر: ۲ یا ۳ دنوں میں کلیئر ہو جائے گا۔

حیدرآبادی گاہک : دونوں بینکاں آمنے سامنیچ ہے تو پھر اتّی دیر کائے کُو۔

بینکر :  سر پروسیجر کرنا پڑتا ہے، اگر آپ قبرستان کے باہر حادثے میں مر گئے توآپ کو گھر کیوں لے کر جاتے، غُسل دیتے، کفن پہناتے، نمازِ جنازہ پڑھتے، یا پھر مرتیچ سامنے کے قبرستان میں دفن کرتے؟

حیدرآبادی گاہک : ایسے کھترناک مثالاں نکّو دے رے باوا، سمجھ گیا میں۔

Monday, 8 August 2016

FRIENDSHIP


A for------------any friend

B for------------best friend

C for---------- close friend

D for---------- dear friend

E for-----------ever friend

F for-- --------family friend

G for ---------good friend

H for ---------helping friend

I for-----------innocent friend

J for --------- jovial friend

K for----------kind friend

L for--------- lovely friend


M for---------merry friend

N for---------naughty friend

O for --------open friend

P for ---------personal friend

Q for---------quiet friend

S for---------special friend

T for---------true friend

U for--- -----understanding friend

V for --------valuable friend

W for--------wonderful friend

X for---------xelent friend

Y for----------young friend

Z for---------  zealous friend

Kaunki har dost jaruri hai 😊😊😊😊



💐💐💐 Happy Friendship Day 💐💐💐

Saturday, 21 May 2016

2 October holiday cancel

2 October holiday cancel......... 😳😳😳😳
Gandhiji milgaye... 
Dubai mein mobile ki dukaan chalate..👇👇👇



۲ اکتوبر کی چھوٹی ختم
گاندھی جی مل گئے ہیں
دبئی میں موبائل کی دکان چلا رہے ہیں

یہ تصویر دبئی کے ایک شخص کی جو موبائیل کی دکان چلا رہے ہیں۔جن کی شباہت بالکل گاندھی جی جیسی ہے۔